<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div><\/div>\n<\/figure><\/div>\n Dear Haya,<\/i><\/p>\n I’m feeling emotionally overwhelmed, extremely confused and need some sincere guidance on the issue I’m dealing with. My parents, especially my mother, want me to marry to my cousin.<\/p>\n For context, I was earlier in a relationship with someone who betrayed me and after that episode, I promised my parents that I’ll only focus on my studies. But some time after that I was approached by someone else who got serious about our future together and has even informed his own family about us. However, there are cultural differences between us, which may not be acceptable to my family. Another issue is that I’ll soon graduate and he still has three semesters to go.<\/p>\n I haven’t yet spoken with my parents about him, but there’s no way I’d marry my cousin. With my graduation approaching and our life stages being so different, how do I make my case with my parents and convince them to consider the person I’m in love with? Please give me some advice.<\/p>\n Dear anon,<\/i><\/p>\n First of all, breathe. You are carrying a lot at once \u2014 conflicting loyalties, fear shaped by a past betrayal, pressure of decisions that feel time bound, your parents wishes, your current reality leading to confusion and overwhelm.<\/p>\n I sense one clarity you strongly hold\u2014 you don’t want to marry your cousin. That clarity matters, even when everything feels messy, knowing what is non-negotiable is grounding. <\/p>\n While I cant tell you what to do, we can explore things that you can consider. <\/p>\n Your parents pressuring you to marry the cousin is about their timelines and sense of security. Decisions made from pressure often lead to resentment later. You are allowed to say, “I am not ready right now or don\u2019t want to decide right now”.<\/p>\n Have a query for Haya? Fill this form<\/a> anonymously or email to [email\u00a0protected]<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n Before you introduce the person you love, it would be beneficial to establish that marrying your cousin is not an option. Do this without bringing the other person in. This will help your parents hear your autonomy, rather than reacting defensively to comparisons or cultural fears. <\/p>\n Are the cultural differences and being younger okay with you? This will help you separate your beliefs from your parents beliefs.<\/p>\n When you do speak about the person you love, frame it in a way that your parents can emotionally digest it. Acknowledge their concerns after your past betrayal, share what is different this time, be honest about the life stage gap, but also explain how you are thinking about it realistically and not impulsively.<\/p>\n Have this conversation when emotions are regulated, not during conflict, pressure, or comparison with other proposals. One calm conversation is better than many emotional ones. <\/p>\n You are not choosing between your parents and your partner,\u00a0 you are choosing to honour your own inner voice. You can respect your parents and choose not to abandon yourself. <\/p>\n Start here and see where this goes. Be gentle and steady, there is no rush no matter how urgent others may make it seem.<\/p>\n Best wishes,<\/p>\n \u2014 Haya<\/span><\/p>\n Haya Malik is a psychotherapist, Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) practitioner, corporate well-being strategist and trainer with expertise in creating organisational cultures focused on well-being and raising awareness around mental health.<\/span><\/p>\n Send her your questions by filling this form<\/a> or email to [email\u00a0protected]<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n Note: The advice and opinions above are those of the author and specific to the query. We strongly recommend our readers consult relevant experts or professionals for personalised advice and solutions. The author and Geo.tv do not assume any responsibility for the consequences of actions taken based on the information provided herein. All published pieces are subject to editing to enhance grammar and clarity.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n![\"A](\"https:\/\/www.geo.tv\/assets\/uploads\/updates\/2025-12-31\/0_2_121752_album.jpg\")
<\/a><\/a><\/p>\n<\/figure>\n<\/div>\nSeparate urgency from pressure<\/span><\/h2>\n
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\nPrepare before you convince<\/span><\/h2>\n
Build your own inner clarity<\/span><\/h2>\n
Address your parents’ fears<\/span><\/h2>\n
Timing matters<\/span><\/h2>\n
Honour your truth<\/span><\/h2>\n
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